Should he be allowed out?

Things Matt has done in (or should I say to) my room today:

1. Poured a cup of tea into my laptop bag (luckily my laptop wasnt in there or there would be no Matt),

2. Well, in the kitchen, bashed my laptop against the table

3. Knocked over my lamp and sprayed broken glass on the floor and down the side of my bed.
(He is now sat in the middle of a wet tea patch on my carpet picking up bits of glass - and who knows what else - from my carpet and trying to piece the lamp together, when he's blatently going to cut himself badly and I'll have to take him to the hospital, and he doesn't have a doctor here.)

4. He made himself a cigarette to recover from the stress of it all (with his last rizla), and just squashed it with his elbow whilst trying to read this post.

So boys and girls, what's the most accident prone day you've had? You know, when EVEYTHING goes wrong. Particularly when you seem to keep doing things 'against' one person. Stories and confessions please.

Oh, and can someone else please post. I look very egotistical.